


I will TURN THIS PARADOX AROUND

by subducting



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Me and Me and My Best Enemy, Post-Episode: s12e05 Fugitive of the Judoon, Spoilers, post fugitive, talk about an awkward lift moment, this is not a serious fic, you ever just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22441810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/subducting/pseuds/subducting
Summary: The Doctor finds herself beside herself. Also the Master is there. Fun times!LANGUAGE WARNING! Swearing from the start. POST FUGITIVE OF THE JUDOON, MAJOR PLOT SPOILERS. YE BE WARNED.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 57





	I will TURN THIS PARADOX AROUND

The Doctor really felt like someone, somewhere, was taking the piss.

Well, two specific someones here were taking the piss, but that was a given. She was very close to opening the TARDIS door and walking straight out into the time vortex, she was so ready to be done with being confused and betrayed. Her fragile grip on reality was tenuous enough without…. Whatever this was.

“You don’t look very happy to see me,” The Master said, eyes glittering darkly. She stuck her chin out, striding over to him and slapping him with all the strength she could manage. He laughed as he staggered backwards.

“Steady on, blondie!” Ruth- she still couldn’t think of her as herself, no matter how true it was- had raised her eyebrows, looking somewhere between amused and exasperated. “Stay out of it,” the Doctor snarled, rounding on the other timelord like a trapped bear in a cage, “This is _my_ ship, and I don’t know how you got here, but you leave him to _me._ ”

Ruth raised her hands, glancing at the Master, who short her a long-suffering expression. “Oh don’t look like that, you- _bastard_ ,” the curse sounded ugly in her mouth, but she meant it, throwing him a loathing glance as she turned to Ruth. “He’s the one you can thank for Gallifrey being burnt to rubble,” she snarled venomously, cursing every pantheon she knew of that she was stuck with the last two people in the entire universe she wanted to spend any time with. Something had gotten crossed in the streams and three TARDIS’ had merged, and now… now she was playing host to the embodiment of evil itself and a past life she couldn’t remember. That was just… peachy.

Ruth had her hands on her hips and her lips pursed as she looked the Master up and down. “He doesn’t look like much,” she commented idly, before returning her attention to the Doctor, “But honestly neither do you. I mean, come on, _this_ theme? _Reall_ y? What, do I turn into a hippie or something?”

The TARDIS gave an irritated whir and the Doctor bristled, drawing herself up to her full (and still very unimpressive) height. “ _You_ don’t turn into anything,” she hissed, “I don’t remember you, and you don’t know me, so we have nothing to say to one another. I’m a little busy right now, so do me a favour and be somewhere where I don’t have to look at you.”

Ruth burst out laughing, shaking her head. “Oh my stars, so dramatic! Am I always like that?” She turned, much to the Doctor’s irritation, to the Master, “With the speeches and everything? I can almost hear the epic background music swelling in her head.” She wiped her eyes. The Master joined in chuckling, and the Doctor resisted the urge to hit something else. “Do you recognise her?” she snapped at the Master, jerking her head in Ruth’s direction.

“No, but she’s already way more fun than you, Doctor,” he purred, and she rolled her eyes in disgust as Ruth laughed. She stalked away from the pair towards the console and started slamming dials and flipping levers, trying to ignore a rising headache.

“I mean really, how can you think in here,” Ruth said, and the Doctor remembered the clean emptiness of the other her’s TARDIS, “It’s so… warm and colourful.”

“She likes it that way,” the Master commented idly, and the Doctor glared sidelong at him, warning him away. “You don’t know what I like,” she spat, and Ruth looked over her head at the Master curiously.

“You don’t know me yet, do you,” he drawled, a sly grin sliding onto his face. Ruth had the same unimpressed look on her face from earlier as she looked down at him. “Am I supposed to?” she sniffed, and the Doctor made a bitter little noise, a tight smile playing around her lips. “Wish I didn’t,” she sniped, and the Master spread a hand over his chest in faux pain. “Oh you wound me so, Doctor,” he sighed, and she rounded on him. “D’you want a real inury?” she snapped.

“I thought you were meant to be a pacifist,” Ruth said, baffled, “You’re very angry, aren’t you?”

“I’ve got good reason,” growled the Doctor, glaring daggers at the Master. Ruth sighed, looking very weary. “Do you two ever get anything done? Or do you just go around time and space trying to murder each other?”

The Doctor and the Master exchanged an odd glance, and the Doctor felt a disquieting amount of comfort in the look. What they had been through together, the memories they shared… it was so much more concrete than the nebulous idea that somehow, she had been Ruth, but now she wasn’t, and at least, at the very least, whatever she and the Master had, however twisted it was, at least she knew it.

Ruth shrugged, a smile playing around her lips, having clearly had her answer. The Doctor elected to ignore her. “Just need to figure out how to get you two the hell out of here,” the diminutive blonde muttered, more to herself than anyone else, “Assuming you’re not both just a malevolent hallucination, that could be possible too…”

“What’s the hurry?” the Master wondered silkily, “I thought you’d want to catch up.” His eyes were keen and bright, and the Doctor paused, glancing between him and Ruth. “You wouldn’t just tell me if she was something to do with what you discovered, would you?” she asked, but the Master only smirked by way of response. The Doctor turned away from him with a huff of frustration.

“Fat lot of help, the pair of you,” she snapped, “Or don’t you care about getting back to your own TARDISes?”

“I’m still not clear on how mine got tangled up with yours, honestly,” The Master said idly, swanning over to the steps and draping himself languidly on them to watch her progress around the console. The Doctor had to try and stop herself from shaking with rage as she looked at him- he couldn’t really _do_ much, stuck in her TARDIS, but seeing him where the projection had delivered the news, she really wanted to crash into something very hard. She resisted the temptation.

Ruth wandered over and plopped down to join the Master, observing her with great interest and no small amount of amusement as she watched her future self struggle to keep her temper.

The temptation rose, along with the Doctor’s blood pressure.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so dumb and I'm sorry. I couldn't even properly make it full goof there's like legit feelings in here, sorry about that, I JUST LIKE, someone on the doctor who server said Ruth!Doctor and the Master teasing thirteen and then it was like THAT SOUNDS FUNNY but it was mostly just painful honestly?
> 
> LIKE IM A MESS Y'ALL, ARE YOU GUYS OVER THAT EP BC I AM NOT AND I MAY NEVER BE, hoooooooly fuck, wow. anyway yeah this is how im dealing with it.


End file.
